Completely ruining Up Our Lives, Guys

Let's be honest here, dudes. We're totally screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We drink too much. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're clueless.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and just accepted our fate?

“This One's About Getting It On"

You guys know about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of shit that gets your blood pumping. No room for pussies here, only those who want it all. We're talking about getting down and feeling Fuck me guys every inch of the ride.

• Forget that lame stuff you’ve been doing.
• This where the real pleasure is.
• Feel what you deserve: a wild, screaming trip.

It's not begging. We’re just offering you the truth.

dudes: Bro Nail Me Right Now

Look, I'm not Playing. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Action. Don't Delay around with Chat, just Make love to me already. I'm Hot and waiting for you to Tear this place up.

Step to it, I know you want to.

Dude! These Guys {Want to Fuck Me|Have It Out With Me Sexually

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Get the Message. I've been trying to Make it Clear, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Don't Care . It's getting {ReallyOut of Hand.

• Perhaps It's Time I Talk to My Landlord About This.
• Seriously| This is getting Way Too Intense.

Let Me Be Clear, I just want to Be Left Alone in Safety! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's Fire this Fucking Lit

Tonight, we're gonna blow the roof off. I'm talking about a night you won't forget. We gotta raise hell and go bananas. I've got {a playlist on fire|epic beats that will have you sweating.

We're hitting the dance floor all night long. So, are you ready to have a blast?

Let's make this a story we tell for years.

Fuck It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Beer solves everything, right?
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.